How to Write Healthy Sibling Relationships

Sibling relationships are the first and often the most enduring bonds we form in life. They shape our identities, define our roles in the family, and teach us how to love, fight, forgive, and grow alongside another person.

For writers, capturing the intricacies of sibling dynamics can infuse stories with authenticity, depth, and emotional resonance that keeps readers turning pages. Here are some tips for how to write healthy sibling relationships:

Make them unique characters

• Establish each sibling’s unique personality and role.
• Give each sibling their own distinct personality, interests, strengths, and flaws.
• Show how their personalities complement and contrast with each other.
• Establish the roles and dynamics between the siblings (leader, peacemaker, rebel, etc.).
• Avoid stereotypes and allow the siblings’ personalities to evolve over time.
• Develop each sibling’s unique voice and communication style.
• Give them contrasting but complementary skills and strengths.

Develop their relationship over time

• Show how the siblings’ relationship strengthens as they grow up and go through life changes. Maybe they grow apart for a while but then reconnect later in life.
• Give their relationship a story arc, showing how their bond matures and changes over the course of the story.
• Explore how the siblings navigate major life events together, like the birth of a new sibling, a family move, losing a loved one, or a parent’s divorce.
• Depict milestones and rites of passage where the siblings support or challenge each other, like learning to drive, graduating high school, starting college or a career.
• Show how the siblings’ communication and conflict resolution skills improve (or deteriorate) over time. Perhaps they learn to express their feelings more openly, fight more fairly, or establish healthier boundaries as they mature.

Give them shared history and inside jokes

• Build strong backstories into their characters with shared childhood experiences.
• Show them laughing over inside jokes and funny memories only they understand.
• Use shared history to show their bond, even when they’re fighting.
• Have the siblings reference shared childhood possessions or special objects like a beloved stuffed animal they both cherished or a secret hideout only they knew about.
• Show the siblings using a private language, code words, or shared vocabulary that only they understand.
• Have them reminisce about funny or embarrassing childhood stories.

Let them learn from each other

• Show the siblings teaching each other important life lessons.
• Have them learn from each other’s mistakes and successes.
• Show how the siblings challenge each other to step outside their comfort zones and try new things.
• Depict moments where the siblings offer each other wise advice or a fresh perspective on a problem, demonstrating how well they understand and support one another.
• Show how the siblings inspire each other to pursue their passions and dreams.
• Depict the siblings’ learning to appreciate their differences and see them as strengths

Show unwavering loyalty and love

• Depict the siblings standing up for each other in the face of adversity or conflict. They have each other’s backs, no matter what.
• Portray the siblings making sacrifices for each other’s happiness or well-being.
• Show the siblings being there for each other during tough times, like heartbreak, illness, or failure. Highlight how they offer comfort, encouragement, and unconditional support.
• Illustrate the siblings’ fierce protectiveness of each other. Show them defending each other against bullies, naysayers, or anyone who threatens their bond.
• Depict the siblings forgiving each other after arguments or misunderstandings. Show how their love helps them overcome hurt feelings and find understanding.
• Portray the siblings expressing their love and appreciation for each other through both big gestures and small, everyday acts of kindness.