Written bySummer Keown
29th April 2024
Learning how to get over rejection isn’t easy, especially if you’ve poured your heart and soul into your writing. You’ve written an incredible story, a brilliant poem, or the next great novel. Finally, it’s finished, and you’re ready to share it with the world. You find the perfect journal, publisher, or agent you just know will publish or represent your work and send your submission out into the electronic ether. Then, you wait.
When (and if) that response finally comes, your stomach knots with nerves. You can’t tell what’s inside yet, so you suck in your breath, your fingers tingling, and click it open. Everyone hopes to see the words “Congratulations!” emblazoned at the top, along with a message telling you how much they loved your writing and that they can’t wait to publish your piece or represent you, but sadly, that’s not always the reality.
Sometimes we do get acceptance messages—that’s what every writer dreams of after all—at which point we can rightly celebrate. But the reality is, only a small percentage of submissions are accepted, so most often, what you’ll receive in your inbox, is a rejection.
Rejections come in many forms, but most of them are formulaic and from my experience, will include the following:
Occasionally, you may get a little more, and if you do, it’s important to latch onto those little snippets, and they can be wonderful moment of raw feedback. They may let you know that your piece was a strong contender, but that ultimately, it didn’t make the cut. They may tell you they enjoyed your writing style and that, despite not accepting this particular submission, they hope you’ll send other work to them in the future.
A kind rejection can feel like a victory when written well, but the real benefit is that it provides valuable feedback on what resonates with agents and publishers that you can use in future submissions.
But let’s be honest, rejection hurts.
Unless you have skin as thick as an overpass, none of us receives rejection and steps away completely unaffected. Nor should we aspire to. Writers feel deeply; it’s why we’re so good a weaving our emotions into our work.
So, this is how to get over rejection: Go ahead and feel whatever you feel. Cry, eat some comfort food, go for a run. Breathe in, breathe out, and then? Get back to work. Whatever you do, do not give up.
We’ve all heard anecdotes about famous authors who got rejections before being published. They never gave up but kept going, eventually publishing to great acclaim. Stephen King, Samuel Beckett, and Madeleine L’Engle are just a few well-known examples of writers who received multiple rejections before a publisher finally took a chance on them.
When it comes to acceptance, all you need is one.
I once took a class with poet Megan Falley who encouraged her students to amass one hundred rejections. An awe-inspiring number. It seems insurmountable, but somehow, the immensity of that number is freeing. To get to that number, we must keep going. Keep writing, keep revising, keep submitting.
The art of rejection is using it to grow, improve, and continually become a better writer. If you think someone is wrong to have rejected your piece, use that energy to show them what they missed out on by writing the most beautiful, creative piece you can. Build on your rejections to produce more — the most important thing is to make sure your writing never stagnates.
So, how can you get over rejection, and what steps can you take afterwards to increase the chance of being published in future?
You won’t regret trying to get published. But you will regret giving up. Rejection is just one step on your way to achieving your goals, so if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.